writing sex

July 15, 2015

a reasonably well known author is credited with a quote about good writing coming from good reading, or something like that. can’t find it again…

anyhoo, in the interests of writing moving and believable sex scenes i figured i should read a few more first.  deciding on this course of action i realised i haven’t read that many previously, and that fingering thru the erotica section of my nearest, suburban chain book store doesn’t pique the slightest interest from anyone.  tho if i was expecting a hot stranger to be loitering nearby, notice my flagrant interest in stories about sex and lead me to a seduction in the storeroom at the back of the shop at around 11am on a weekday, i should tell my husband to get a new hair cut and ‘surprise’ me.

about the sex scenes i have read, i don’t recall any details particularly.  i do recall responses in me ranging from squeamish oh-god-really raised eyebrows and never-heard-it-called-that-before and a mild titillation and wetness.  perhaps i just haven’t been reading “the right stuff”! enter the solution- “The Mammoth Book of Urban Erotic Confessions. Over 50 Real-life Tales of Sex in the City”, edited by Barbara Cardy.  now it wasn’t until i was nearly 90% of the way thru this tome that i bothered to check what other “Mammoth Book of…” titles were out there.  i confess i may have been expecting too much upon reading i was in the good company of: Hollywood Scandals; Quick and Dirty Erotica (should i try this one instead?) Zombies; ER Romance (i’m assuming that means patients and health carers getting hot and heavy over gunshot wounds and heart attacks in the emergency room) Shark Attacks; More Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes and Erotic Photography, Vol 4.   ah well, live and learn, hey?

what have i learnt about writing sex scenes tho?  maybe a little.  what have i learnt about what people confess to? about 80% of the population wants to be humiliated by being spanked until they can’t sit down, and often with an audience.  and an equally startling amount of my fellow adventurers want to be trussed up, forced to commit acts they wouldn’t breathe about to their spouse and generally treated with complete contempt and degradation.  oh, and everyone wants it up the arse, preferably two at once, or at least another penis in a vagina or a mouth, whichever orifice the recipient is blessed with, whether they’ll admit it or not.

i didn’t read a word about compassion, mutual pleasure, love, long-term trust or relationships, respectful communication or enduring care.  i think i must be confusing love with sex.  sure, they don’t have to be mutually inclusive, but i thought there might be something…  or it could be that the nature of ‘confessions’ are bereft of those things we (i?) more normally associate with sex, or i’m just a prude with much to learn!

in my quest to learn more i did, that day in the bookstore when no-one smiled winningly or even smirked at me as i stood in my short skirt and heels* in the erotica section, buy two other books as well.  let my education continue!

*wardrobe choice that day was not dictated by intention to hook up while in erotica section of bookstore, wardrobe choice is nearly always dictated by what’s clean that day.